Prophets and the Family Proclamation

It looks like there is a new theme for the Visiting Teaching Messages, and that they will be focused on “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” (You can find the January message here.)

Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson said this about this proclamation: “We were grateful for and valued the clarity, simplicity, and truth of this revelatory document. … The proclamation on the family has become our benchmark for judging the philosophies of the world, and I testify that the principles set forth … are as true today as they were when they were given to us by a prophet of God nearly 20 years ago.”1 I really liked how she reminded us that it was given by a prophet of God.

The additional scriptures listed at the end of the VT message also emphasize the role of prophets.

D&C 1:38
What I the Lord have spoken, I have spoken, and I excuse not myself; and though the heavens and the earth pass away, my word shall not pass away, but shall all be fulfilled, whether by mine own voice or by the voice of my servants, it is the same.

Mosiah 8:16-17
16 And Ammon said that a seer is a revelator and a prophet also; and a gift which is greater can no man have, except he should possess the power of God, which no man can; yet a man may have great power given him from God.
17 But a seer can know of things which are past, and also of things which are to come, and by them shall all things be revealed, or, rather, shall secret things be made manifest, and hidden things shall come to light, and things which are not known shall be made known by them, and also things shall be made known by them which otherwise could not be known.


I think it’s important to remember who is speaking, who the Proclamation came from. It came from the LORD, through His prophet, to us. It’s not just a bunch of good ideas put together by the prophet or a group of smart men; it is revelation from the Lord, and as we heed it, we will be blessed and strengthened and protected.

Pray Always

This is a Relief Society lesson I taught back in March 2009.

Pray Always—Elder David A. Bednar

Elder Bednar says, “Prayer becomes more meaningful as we counsel with the Lord in all our doings, as we express heartfelt gratitude, and as we pray for others.”

He then goes on to discuss those three principles in his talk. So what I’d like to think about and discuss today is how we do those things and why they make our prayers more meaningful.

I.            Counseling with the Lord

1.       How do we counsel with the Lord?

First of all, what does it mean to counsel?

I looked up a couple definitions, and I think some of what I found gives good insights into what we’re supposed to be doing.

(noun) 1. Interchange of opinions as to future procedure; consultation; deliberation

(verb) 2. To get our take counsel or advice

A couple things that stood out to me here are that there is an interchange of opinions—this is two-way communication. We need to make sure that when we counsel with the Lord, we actually talk to Him and we let Him talk as well. And then we need to take the advice He gives us.

2.       What should we counsel with the Lord about?

Elder Bednar quotes Alma 37:36-37:

“36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.

 “37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.”

He emphasizes counseling with the Lord in ALL our doings. I think I have a tendency to only pray about something if I’m having a problem with it. If work is going well, I don’t pray about it. If school is going well, I don’t pray about it. But the instruction isn’t just to counsel with the Lord about the things that are going wrong; it’s to counsel with Him in ALL things. Certainly we should counsel with Him about our problems, but we should also talk to Him about the things that are going well.

Another thought that I had is that we can involve the Lord in the whole process. We’ve probably all heard that we need to study things out in our minds and make a decision and then take it to see if the decision is right—and that is true. We need to make the decisions. However, we need to realize at the same time that we’re not alone in the decision-making process. I was in a class once, and the teacher asked at what point of the decision-making process we prayed, and may answer was that I pray the whole way through. We can pray for guidance, we can pray for discernment, we can pray to know how to make the decision, etc. For me, I don’t always study things out the same way; sometimes I make a pros and cons list, sometimes I fast and pray, sometimes I need to talk to a particular person and gets some insight. So sometimes, my prayers start out with just asking for help in making the decision, in knowing which approach to take. The Lord doesn’t only help us at the end, either by confirming our decision or letting us know that it’s wrong. He will help us the whole way through, and I think that’s an important part of counseling—to involve the Lord in the whole process.

3.       How does counseling with the Lord make our prayers more meaningful?

Elder Bednar quotes a passage from the Bible Dictionary:

“As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are His children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part.”

For me, counseling with the Lord teaches me about that relationship. As I counsel with Him, I receive promptings, I get guidance, and I receive divine help; this makes me aware that God is working in my life, that my Father does hear my prayers, and that He will help me. It shows me that I really am His daughter and He loves me, and then that in turn changes how I pray. When you know that you’re praying to your Father, prayer is more meaningful.

II.            Gratitude

Elder Bednar’s second principle for making prayer more meaningful is to pray for others.

1.       How do we express gratitude?

Elder Bednar gives one suggestion:

“Let me recommend that periodically you and I offer a prayer in which we only give thanks and express gratitude. Ask for nothing; simply let our souls rejoice and strive to communicate appreciation with all the energy of our hearts.”

So one thing Elder Bednar says we can do is to have a prayer in which we only express gratitude.

He also gives us some insights into how to express gratitude in general; he says to let our souls rejoice and strive to communicate appreciation with all the energy of our hearts. Even if we’re going to ask God for something in our prayers, we can still express our gratitude with our whole hearts. I was taught that when you pray, you express gratitude first, and you ask for things after, so sometimes there’s a temptation to rush through the gratitude portion and get to what we think we need. But that’s probably not true gratitude; we need to put our hearts into it and express real gratitude.

2.       Why does expressing gratitude make our prayers more meaningful?

Sister Parkin, former Relief Society General President, gave an awesome talk a few years ago, called “Gratitude: A Path to Happiness”, and she had some great insights in there. One thing she mentioned was:

“Gratitude requires awareness and effort, not only to feel it but to express it. Frequently we are oblivious to the Lord’s hand. We murmur, complain, resist, criticize; so often we are not grateful. In the Book of Mormon, we learn that those who murmur do not know “the dealings of that God who … created them.” ³ The Lord counsels us not to murmur because it is then difficult for the Spirit to work with us.

“Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord.” (emphasis added)

To me, again, this helps me see that Father-daughter relationship with god. It lets me know that He is aware of me and that He loves me, and that always makes my prayers more meaningful. When we are grateful, the Spirit has the opportunity to show us God’s love.

Sister Parkin also talked about the story of the 10 lepers:

“Luke chapter 17 records the experience of the Savior when He healed 10 lepers. As you recall, only one of the cleansed lepers returned to express his appreciation. Isn’t it interesting that the Lord did not say, “Your gratitude has made you whole”? Instead, He said, “Thy faith hath made thee whole.” ⁷

“The leper’s expression of gratitude was recognized by the Savior as an expression of his faith. As we pray and express gratitude to a loving but unseen Heavenly Father, we are also expressing our faith in Him. Gratitude is our sweet acknowledgment of the Lord’s hand in our lives; it is an expression of our faith.”

When we express gratitude, we express faith—and how meaningful can a prayer be if there isn’t any faith in it?

III.            Pray for Others

1.       How?

Elder Bednar says we need to “pray for others with real intent and a sincere heart.”

I think that means we say more than just a casual “Please bless…” It means we really think about others’ needs. It also means we’re willing to help them.

Alma 34:27-28 says,

“27 Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your hearts be full, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your welfare, and also for the welfare of those who are around you.

 “28 And now behold, my beloved brethren, I say unto you, do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things, if ye turn away the needy, and the naked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and impart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your prayer is vain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as hypocrites who do deny the faith.”

This tells us that we need to pray for others, and then, if we don’t help them, our prayer is in vain.

2.       Why does praying for others make prayer more meaningful?

I think there are several different ways that this can make prayer more meaningful.

In praying for our enemies, I think we need the Lord’s help to do it, and anytime He helps us, then we feel His love and prayer becomes more meaningful when you know you’re praying to someone who loves you.

Also, in praying for others, I think we’re blessed with a sense of His love for others, but that also testifies to use of how much He loves us.

I remember one time, the girl I visit taught was going through a really rough time, and I was sitting in my room one night, and I was going to write her a note just to try to be supportive, and I prayed for you, probably one of the most sincere prayers I’ve ever prayed, and I felt so strongly how much God loved her. There was just this feeling of charity—of pure love—that just filled my entire body. And even though He was letting me see how much He loved her, I also knew that was how much He loves me, too.

God is our Father and He does hear our prayers. He wants us to know about the relationship described in the Bible Dictionary so that prayer will become natural and instinctive on our part. As we counsel with Him, as we express gratitude, and as we pray for others, the Spirit will truly testify to us of that relationship and of how much our Father loves us, and our prayers will be more meaningful. In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

A Return to Virtue

This is a Relief Society lesson I taught in early 2009.

A Return to Virtue—Elaine S. Dalton

        I.            What is virtue?

Virtue is defined as: goodness; power; general moral excellence; right action and thinking; goodness or morality; a specific moral quality regarded as good or meritorious; chastity, especially in women; excellence in general; merit, value; effective power or force; efficacy; potency; especially the ability to heal or strengthen

In Preach My Gospel, we learn this about virtue:

“Virtue originates in your innermost thoughts and desires. It is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards. Since the Holy Ghost does not dwell in unclean tabernacles, virtue is prerequisite to receiving the Spirit’s guidance. What you choose to think and do when you are alone and you believe no one is watching is a strong measure of your virtue.

Virtuous people are clean and pure spiritually. They focus on righteous, uplifting thoughts and put unworthy thoughts that lead to inappropriate actions out of their minds. They obey God’s commandments and follow the counsel of Church leaders. They pray for the strength to resist temptation and do what is right. They quickly repent of any sins or wrongdoings. They live worthy of a temple recommend.” (page 118)

President James E. Faust said, “Many people do not fully understand the meaning of virtue. One commonly understood meaning is to be chaste or morally clean, but virtue in its fuller sense encompasses all traits of righteousness that help us form our character.”

Proverbs 31:10-12, 20, 25-27, 30:

10 ¶Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.  25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

What are some characteristics of a virtuous woman?

·         cares for her husband, her children, her household (stewardship)

·         willing to work

·         charity

·         strength

·         honor

·         wise

·         kind

·         fears God

      II.            Why is virtue strength? Why is a virtuous woman’s price far above rubies? What can a virtuous person do?

Sister Dalton said, “Virtue is a prerequisite to entering the Lord’s holy temples and to receiving the Spirit’s guidance. Virtue “is a pattern of thought and behavior based on high moral standards.” ⁶ It encompasses chastity and moral purity. Virtue begins in the heart and in the mind. It is nurtured in the home. It is the accumulation of thousands of small decisions and actions. Virtue is a word we don’t hear often in today’s society, but the Latin root word virtus means strength. Virtuous women and men possess a quiet dignity and inner strength. They are confident because they are worthy to receive and be guided by the Holy Ghost.”

A virtuous person can have the Spirit, go to the temple, resist temptation, and set an example for others to follow

When you do those things, you increase God’s influence in your life and you decrease Satan’s influence in your life.

D&C 121:45-46 says:

45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.

 46 The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever.

A virtuous person can stand with confidence before God; I think she can also stand with confidence before Satan, knowing who she is and that God will assist her.

Sister Dalton said, “I truly believe that one virtuous young woman or young man, led by the Spirit, can change the world, but in order to do so, we must return to virtue.”

How can a virtuous person change the world?

Sister Dalton gave the example of the 2000 stripling warriors (Alma 53:20; see also Alma 56). As I was reading through this lesson, I thought of a line by Alfred Lord Tennyson that President Monson likes to quote: Sir Galahad, who was regarded as one of the best of the knights of King Arthur, said, “My strength is as the strength of ten/Because my heart is pure.” With the stripling warriors, their strength wasn’t in their bodies or in their youth; like Sir Galahad, their strength came from their purity and their absolute determination to have faith and follow God. And because they did that, their people as well as the Nephites were preserved.

Another example: Hyrum Smith

D&C 124:15 says, “And again, verily I say unto you, blessed is my servant Hyrum Smith; for I, the Lord, love him because of the integrity of his heart, and because he loveth that which is right before me, saith the Lord.”

How did Hyrum Smith change the world? We focus on Joseph Smith and what he did a lot, but the Church needed Hyrum, too. Joseph needed Hyrum. Because he always did what was right, because he was virtuous, he was able to support Joseph in his mission here on the earth and also to fulfill his own.

    III.            So, if we’re supposed to change the world by being virtuous, how do we return to virtue?

Sister Dalton said, “What can each of us do to begin our return to virtue? The course and the training program will be unique to each of us. I have derived my personal training program from instructions found in the scriptures: “Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly.” ¹⁴ “Cleave unto [your] covenants.” ¹⁵ “Stand … in holy places.” ¹⁶ “Lay aside the things of [the] world.” ¹⁷ “Believe that ye must repent.” ¹⁸ “Always remember him and keep his commandments.” ¹⁹ And “if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, … seek after these things.” ²⁰ Now more than ever before, it is time to respond to Moroni’s call to “awake, and arise” and to “lay hold upon every good gift, and touch not the evil gift, nor the unclean thing.” ²¹”

Let’s quickly look at some of those thoughts and discuss what they mean.

Let virtue garnish your thoughts: Are we having pure thoughts? What do we do when impure thoughts enter our minds? And remember, virtuous thoughts aren’t just chaste thoughts; if I think, “I can’t stand her,” that isn’t an unchaste thought, but it’s not a pure thought.

Cleave unto your covenants: Stop and think about the covenants you’ve made and if you’re really keeping them. Think about what you can do to keep them more fully. Pick something to work on.

Stand in holy places: This doesn’t just say not to be in unholy places; it says to stand in holy place. We need to make the effort to seek out holy places—to go to the temple, to make our homes holy, etc.

Lay aside the things of the world: Let’s look at our clothing, the media we consume, our language, our beliefs, etc. to see if there’s anything worldly we need to get rid of

Believe that ye must repent: We ALL need to repent, and it’s a blessing that we get to. So let’s examine ourselves and do it.

Always remember Him and keep His commandments: Think about the commandments, not just the Ten Commandments but all of them. Which ones do we need to do better and how will we do that? How often are we remembering our Savior?

Article of Faith 13: Seek out things that are virtuous. Just like we need to seek out holy places, we need to find things that are virtuous to fill our lives.

Awake and arise: Let’s pay attention! Satan tries to be very subtle and crafty in his work. He leads us astray a little at a time, by degrees. We need to constantly be aware of what we’re doing and who we are following.

Lay hold upon every good gift, and touch not the evil gift, nor the unclean thing: Get rid of anything evil or unclean. Don’t even touch it a little bit. Stay away from it.

I want to close with one last thought from Sister Dalton. She said, “Now is the time to prepare by exercising more self-discipline. Now is the time to become “more fit for the kingdom.” ¹³ Now is the time to set our course and focus on the finish. A return to virtue must begin individually in our hearts and in our homes.”

I’d like to testify that we can do this. We can return to virtue, and we can start today. We can each find ways to improve and as we do, we can be forces for good in the world. We are all daughters of God, and He needs us to be virtuous. The world needs us. I also want to testify that we are capable of doing so much more than we imagine. We can do all things with Christ, and that includes changing the world. The Lord loves us and He will help us to do the things He asks us to do. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Joy in the Journey

This is from a Relief Society lesson I taught in the fall of 2008. I think I might have lost a page of it, though, because there isn't really any conclusion. 

Finding Joy in the Journey—President Thomas S. Monson

When I was preparing this lesson, I thought about some of the hymns about joy, and I learned something new. One of the hymns I listened to is “You Can Make the Pathway Bright,” and I think I’ve always focused on the second and third verses, which focus on making someone else’s life brighter through kindness and service. But I missed the first and fourth verses, which talk about our own individual pathways. Our lives can be happy—if there’s sunshine in our hearts. And if we turn to “There Is Sunshine in My Soul Today,” I think we can use “heart” from the first hymn and “soul” from the second to mean the same thing, so our pathway is bright, or we have joy in the journey, when there is sunshine in our souls, and there is sunshine in our souls when “Jesus is my light.”

What does it mean to have Jesus as our light?

What is light? It’s something that makes things visible—so it’s something by which we can see.

And there are different types of lights and different degrees of light. Usually there are times throughout the day that you could either turn your lights on or off. We can see better based on what type of light, how much light there is.

Jesus is the Light, our ultimate source of light. To me, when He is the light be which I see, things look at lot better than what they look like without Him. Have you ever noticed that, how a day can look so gloomy but then something happens and your heart is touched by the Spirit and your vision changes and the day looks a lot brighter?  The pathway is brighter and we can find joy in the journey when Jesus is our light.

So, how do we have Jesus as our light, to help us find joy?

President Monson mentions a few ways, including having gratitude for the Savior, and Sister Bonnie D. Parkin, former Relief Society General President, said, “Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God.” When we are grateful, it changes the way we see.

So, why should we have gratitude for our Savior? What things should we be grateful for?

President Monson mentions a few things in his talk. He says:

“I pray that all of us will reflect gratitude for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. His glorious gospel provides answers to life’s greatest questions: Where did we come from? Why are we here? Where does my spirit go when I die?

He taught us how to pray. He taught us how to serve. He taught us how to live. His life is a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved.”

So, we can be grateful for His gospel, which gives us answers to life’s greatest questions, for the lessons that He taught us about how to pray, how to serve, how to love. For the fact that He did and does heal the sick, lift the downtrodden, and save the sinner—that He does those things for us.

How do we express gratitude to our Savior?

President Monson says, “He beckons, “Follow me.” 15 He instructs, “Go, and do thou likewise.” 16 He pleads, “Keep my commandments.” ¹⁷

“Let us follow Him. Let us emulate His example. Let us obey His word. By so doing, we give to Him the divine gift of gratitude.”

President Monson also talks about having gratitude even in adversity and tells a story that I love to illustrate this principle:

“Many years ago I was touched by the story of Borghild Dahl. She was born in Minnesota in 1890 of Norwegian parents and from her early years suffered severely impaired vision. She had a tremendous desire to participate in everyday life despite her handicap and, through sheer determination, succeeded in nearly everything she undertook. Against the advice of educators, who felt her handicap was too great, she attended college, receiving her bachelor of arts degree from the University of Minnesota. She later studied at Columbia University and the University of Oslo. She eventually became the principal of eight schools in western Minnesota and North Dakota.

“She wrote the following in one of the 17 books she authored: “I had only one eye, and it was so covered with dense scars that I had to do all my seeing through one small opening in the left of the eye. I could see a book only by holding it up close to my face and by straining my one eye as hard as I could to the left.” ⁷

“Miraculously, in 1943—when she was over 50 years old—a revolutionary procedure was developed which finally restored to her much of the sight she had been without for so long. A new and exciting world opened up before her. She took great pleasure in the small things most of us take for granted, such as watching a bird in flight, noticing the light reflected in the bubbles of her dishwater, or observing the phases of the moon each night. She closed one of her books with these words: “Dear … Father in heaven, I thank Thee. I thank Thee.” ⁸

“Borghild Dahl, both before and after her sight was restored, was filled with gratitude for her blessings.

“In 1982, two years before she died, at the age of 92 her last book was published. Its title: Happy All My Life. Her attitude of thankfulness enabled her to appreciate her blessings and to live a full and rich life despite her challenges.”

I love that story and what we learn from it. I love the fact that this woman was able to be happy all her life, not just when things went how she wanted them to; when she finally got the blessing that she had probably wanted all her life. The title of her book isn’t “Waiting All My Life” or “Hoping All My Life.” It could have been, because she probably did spend her whole life wanting to see. But it wasn’t.

How do you think this woman was able to be happy all her life?

·         She had a life—she set goals and achieved them. She got an education even when other people told her she shouldn’t or it would be too hard. (Parable of the talents—take what your master gives you and do all you can with it)

·         She could find joy in little things, and I don’t know the details here, but I would imagine that’s not a quality she developed after she could see. I would think she probably spend her whole life being able to “see” a lot more than others could because she could be happy with the little things.

The Lord tells us to be grateful in all things, not just some of them, and since He doesn’t give us commandments that we can’t keep, that means there is a way to do it.

President Monson also says, “Said one well-known author: “Both abundance and lack [of abundance] exist simultaneously in our lives, as parallel realities. It is always our conscious choice which secret garden we will tend … when we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that’s present—love, health, family, friends, work, the joys of nature, and personal pursuits that bring us [happiness]—the wasteland of illusion falls away and we experience heaven on earth.” ⁶

One way we have gratitude is just by picking which garden you tend; some days, gratitude seems to come naturally, but other days, it can be a lot harder. But if we really try, we can always find things to be grateful for. We’ve already talked about Jesus Christ, and we can certainly always be grateful for Him.

President Monson tells us focus on what is most important in life; he says, “Our realization of what is most important in life goes hand in hand with gratitude for our blessings.”

Why do you think that is?

When you realize what’s most important, you also realize what you have.

So what is most important? President Monson gives some very clear counsel: “Stresses in our lives come regardless of our circumstances. We must deal with them the best we can. But we should not let them get in the way of what is most important—and what is most important almost always involves the people around us. Often we assume that they must know how much we love them. But we should never assume; we should let them know. Wrote William Shakespeare, “They do not love that do not show their love.” ³ We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us.

“…Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.”

How does the light of Christ help us to know what is most important?

It helps us put things in perspective. For me, there are times when I’ve been prompted to do something first—call my little brother instead of starting my homework right away, or things like that. There are constant reminders from the leaders of the Church, who tell us what’s most important and what things to focus on. There a constant reminder in three-fold mission of the Church—perfecting the Saints, redeeming the dead, and proclaiming the Gospel—which all deal with helping people.

One we’ve realized what’s most important, why is life better and brighter when we focus on things that are most important?

Again, it helps put things in perspective, and the bad things, like doing poorly on an assignment or even in a class, don’t seem quite as important or as bad. It makes those things which are important stand out more and helps us to be grateful for them.