"We will be on the receiving end of hurtful remarks or actions countless times throughout our lives. Deciding ahead of time to forgive those who intentionally or unintentionally hurt us empowers us to move forward without bitterness or pain." (p. 61)
"The following hypothetical example helps show how important it can be to make decisions in advance. A man is bitten by a rattlesnake. He must quickly make a choice: should he chase down the snake and kill it to avenge the offense, or should he immediately tend to his wound? If he kills the snake, he will get his revenge on the creature that has caused him pain. However, this rash act would neither dull the pain nor delay the onset of the poison. If he chooses instead to address the problem and tend to the wound, he will not have his revenge—but he may save his life in the process. Choosing this course of action ahead of time helps him take lifesaving steps as quickly as possible and avoid prolonged suffering.
We can apply the same pattern when others hurt us with their remarks or actions. We can decide to forgive them in advance. While it is not likely that a rattlesnake will bite us, it is likely that we will be on the receiving end of intentional or unintentional negative remarks or actions from others many times in our lives. Anticipating that and forgiving ahead of time keeps the “poison” out of our system and spares us from unnecessary pain and suffering." (p. 61)
"'It’s like putting on sunblock before going into the sun. The healing balm of forgiveness takes the sting out of the conflict and the hurt, and even soothes the pain.'" (p.65)
This probably isn't the most mind-blowing article ever written, but it's so different from how I normally am. Normally, I anticipate problems and think about the cutting remark I'll make in response or what retribution I'll get (which is usually about as severe as unfriending someone on Facebook--something I haven't actually done.) I'll think about the things I should have said when someone wronged me, and think about how I'm going to speak my piece the next time (although 99% of the time I don't say it the next time either.) So, this forgiveness-in-advance thing is totally a foreign language to me. And yet, I can't deny that this is a language of the Spirit. This is how Christ deals with us--He doesn't sit there waiting for us mess up again so He can give us our just rewards; He's focusing on forgiveness, on how He can show us a better way and how He can draw us closer to Him. His whole life and death and Atonement and pretty much His whole existence is about forgiveness--and forgiveness is what will bring us closer to Him and give us the peace that we need in our lives, something that even the most cutting, intelligent, and even accurate comeback is never going to do for us.
